April Fool’s Day is a day when you can’t trust anything you read at first glance on social media for fear it’s entirely made up, which we suppose isn’t much different than most days now.
Thankfully, most people seem pretty tired of the schtick at this point, though Tiger Woods was able to fool a few sports media folks for several minutes before coming clean. Around the Horn used the opportunity to have some good-natured fun as they enter their homestretch.
We’re not trying to help anyone in this annoying endeavor, but the key to a good April Fool’s joke is that it feels real enough and that the people involved commit to the bit. Most jokes fall flat because one or both aren’t happening. So credit is due to Pardon the Interruption hosts Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon for knowing how they could weaponize their curmudgeonly ways to fool some baseball fans, for at least a while.
The long-running ESPN debate show kicked off Tuesday’s episode by mentioning that Major League Baseball is “reportedly planning to ban” torpedo bats after they’ve become a lightning rod of controversy to start the 2025 season. Kornheiser’s delivery of that information was so matter-of-fact that you wouldn’t have been blamed for assuming this was true and you had simply missed the announcement.
The two sports media cranks then launched into a debate over the news, with Wilbon saying the decision was “over-reactionary” while Kornheiser worried the bats were hurting the “integrity” of the game.
They went back-and-forth a few times until Kornheiser finally asked Wilbon, “Do you want me to say it or do you want to say it, as to what we’re doing here? Which one of us?”
“I like saying it. I’m such a curmudgeon now,” responded Wilbon. “That’s an April Fool’s story, you dopes, knuckleheads. April 1.”
“You know what? When I prepared for this story, I think we did it very well,” Kornheiser added. “I think we established positions that we could both live with. I really do, actually.”
So, no, despite the drama surrounding them, MLB is not banning torpedo bats—at least not yet. However, it sounds like we know where the PTI guys will stand if and when that day comes.
About Sean Keeley
Along with writing for Awful Announcing and The Comeback, Sean is the Managing Editor for Comeback Media. Previously, he created the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and wrote 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse-related things for SB Nation, Curbed, and other outlets. He currently lives in Seattle where he is complaining about bagels. Send tips/comments/complaints to sean@thecomeback.com.