Jarren Duran had enough.
The 2022 season was a rough one for the Red Sox outfielder. Struggling on the field and dealing with relentless fan criticism, he hit a low point. He later shared a moment when things felt so heavy he actually considered ending his life.
It was a sobering moment of reality, one that illuminated what athletes like Duran deal with and, most of the time, deal with behind closed doors.
Some fans seem to think that buying a ticket gives them the license to say whatever abusive thing they want, but as Roy Kent said on Ted Lasso, athletes are people, too. None of us know what’s going on in each other’s lives. Every single one of them is still a human being. And they deserve to be treated like it, too.
That’s where Jarren Duran comes in.
During filming the Red Sox docuseries The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox, Duran opened up about some deeply personal struggles. Duran admitted he was in a very dark place during the 2022 season. While he’s since come out the other side stronger, he credited the Netflix crew for creating a space where he felt comfortable enough to share his story. The docuseries and a subsequent statement were released in tandem on Tuesday.
“Talking about this wasn’t easy, but it felt important,” Duran’s statement read. “I trusted the Netflix crew, and I knew that if I was going to share this, I had to be real about it. A few years ago, I found myself in a dark place, but I’m still here, and I’m so lucky I am. And if my story can help even one person, then it was worth telling. It’s that ability to help, to reach those who feel alone, that motivated me to tell my story. Right now, my focus is on the field. We have a postseason to chase, and that’s where my head is.
“I’ve shared what I needed to share, and I appreciate everyone’s understanding that my focus right now is on baseball and helping my team win a World Series. I am grateful for the tremendous support I’ve received. If you’re struggling, please know there’s help. You can call a friend, a trusted person, your doctor, or an organization like Samaritans. And, if you’re in immediate danger, call 988.”
When the docuseries hit Netflix, Duran put out a statement about why he decided to share his painful experiences, including the time he nearly took his own life.
Content warning: The following excerpt from ESPN includes a graphic description of a suicide attempt.
“I was already hearing it from fans,” Duran said in the docuseries. “And what they said to me, [it was like], ‘I’ve told myself 10 times worse in the mirror.’ That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”
“… I got to a point where I was sitting in my room, I had my rifle and I had a bullet and I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened. So, to this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason’, so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off. I was like, ‘Do I want to be here, or do I not want to be here?’ That happened for a reason and obviously you’re here for a reason, so let’s be the way you want to be and play [the way] you want to play and live the way you want to live.”
When word of Duran’s comments reached Red Sox manager Alex Cora, he was asked about it. What followed was a genuine, heartfelt response about the pressure athletes face today and how teams support them.
“We live in a tough world. We do, and the pressure to perform at this level is unique,” said Cora. “Nobody knows what a professional athlete has to go through. We lived it through Jarren. Throughout his career, we’ve seen part of this stuff. And I’m glad that I work for the Boston Red Sox, and we take this very seriously.”
Cora joked that the Red Sox had used the docuseries as a source of motivation, but there’s nothing light about what Jarren Duran chose to share. What he did took real courage.
He didn’t have to tell his story. But by doing so, he might just help someone else find the strength to keep going. And in a sport built around second chances — something Duran knows firsthand — that might be the most important swing he’s ever taken.