Many longtime listeners of The Bill Simmons Podcast have picked up on not only the host’s verbal habits, but also his frequent guests’. And that’s proven to provide plenty of content for Danny Goodwin, with the Austin, Texas-based comedian having gone viral in recent weeks for his impressions of The Ringer’s flagship podcast.
Following previous posts in which he portrayed Simmons discussing the assassination of President John F. Kennedy with Chuck Klosterman and the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks with Ryen Russillo, Goodwin published his third impression of the Sports Guy on New Year’s Eve. And it may have been his best yet, as we now know what it would have sounded like had Simmons interviewed Peter Schrager in the immediate aftermath of Pearl Harbor.
“I wanted to do some Million Dollar Picks to see who’s going to win this thing,” Goodwin, acting as Simmons, said. “Let’s start with Japan. Do you think they can go all the way here or are they just having a moment right now?”
“Bill, it’s crazy. I was talking to Emperor Hirohito just before the attack. I was like, ‘Are you really going to do this?’ And he was like, ‘I know, it’s crazy, right?'” the faux Schrager replied. “He’s as shocked as anyone. But guess what — by the way, big movie buff. Loves Bogart. You could get him in for The Maltese Falcon Rewatchables. I don’t know! But guess what? The deal is, his guys love him and they will die for him.”
After the fake Simmons brought up Germany’s role in World War 2, Goodwin once again poked fun at Schrager’s propensity for namedropping.
“Bill, just before we started recording, I got off the phone with Adolf Hitler,” the fake Schrager says. “By the way, big sports guy. Loves this show.”
“Oh! Adolf!” Goodwin, impersonating Simmons impersonating Paulie Walnuts from The Sopranos, replied.
“A bit of a Yankees fan,” the faux Schrager continued.
“I knew I hated that guy,” fake Simmons responded.
Goodwin concluded the impression with Schrager’s signature catchphrase: “Let’s go!”
As Goodwin’s third foray into the Simmons universe predictably went viral, it inevitability made its way to Schrager. And rather than ignoring the impression — as Simmons has — the NFL Network star opted to amplify it, reposting it with both praise and embarrassment.
“I’ve never laughed so hard and at the same time taken a long look in the mirror,” Schrager wrote. “Well done !!!”
While it would have been easy for Schrager to just ignore the the impression — especially considering its content matter — it’s a credit to the Good Morning Football co-host that he took it in the spirt in which it was intended. Here’s to hoping that 2025 doesn’t just bring Timothée Chalamet to The Bill Simmons Podcast, but also Goodwin getting the home-and-home treatment from The Ringer founder that Ric Bucher never got.
About Ben Axelrod
Ben Axelrod is a veteran of the sports media landscape, having most recently worked for NBC's Cleveland affiliate, WKYC. Prior to his time in Cleveland, he covered Ohio State football and the Big Ten for outlets including Cox Media Group, Bleacher Report, Scout and Rivals.