The Superman franchise saw its latest reboot with director James Gunn’s Superman starring David Corenswet. The movie has been a box office hit drawing $125 million in its opening weekend. But one man who was not a fan of the new iteration of the Man of Steel was one Mike Francesa.
While the DC universe has lagged far behind Marvel in the cultural zeitgeist for much of the 2000s, there is some hope that the new Superman may have finally got it right bringing the classic superhero to life in a way that connects with a modern audience.
But according to the Sports Pope on his BetRivers podcast, the newest Superman was “pure torture,” “unmitigated garbage,” and “the worst thing I’ve ever seen” while suggesting it was so bad that the writers must have been under the influence of hallucinogens.
Here are some of the best quotes from the near ten minute takedown that truly needs to be watched in its entirety to be fully appreciated.
“For someone who’s an old-time, TV show Superman guy trying to get entertained for a couple hours, and wants to see Superman, this movie was pure torture.”
“If my name was on the credits I’d hide it, that’s how bad it was.”
“This was two hours of him getting the crap beat out of him. Who wants to see Superman get beat up for two hours?”
“This was unmitigated garbage.”
“There’s a Superdog, who came up with a Superdog? We all like dogs, ok. And I didn’t like the dog getting beat on in the movie, it bothered me. Who came up with a dog with a cape?”
“The dog was a bigger hero than Superman was.”
“This movie is so bad that if you asked me to go sit through it again I would want major, major cash before I could do it. Ok? It was pure torture. It was two hours of pain. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I was thinking about inflicting pain to myself just to keep myself awake. That’s how bad it was. This movie was dreadful.”
“I actually think the people who wrote this must have been on some kind of hallucinogen before they decided that this was a wrap and this was what they were going to go with. The creative consultants and the writers in this thing must have all been absolutely rocked before they made this thing.”
Mike Francesa may not enjoy the regional or national relevance that he once did when he was pioneering sports talk radio on WFAN in New York with Chris Russo on Mike and the Mad Dog but he can still deliver classic moments.
But maybe he just needed a late stage career shift away from sports and to the world of being a movie critic. We’ve been missing that kind of voice and influence since the days of Siskel and Ebert. And maybe Mike Francesa is the one to fill those shoes. Once a king, always a king.