The Texas state primary race is on May 29th, and it looks like the only way that our beloved hero Craig James is going to move on to the general election is if his opponents in the race *actually* kill five hookers.
James is currently polling at 2% in the Texas Republican Senate primary according to a poll released this week. The only one of the five candidates that will be on the ballot that James is polling higher than is Glenn Addison, a FUNERAL DIRECTOR. That’s right, James is thought of so unfavorably that he’s close to getting beaten by a funeral director.
James is among a group of candidates with little chance for success, with former Texas state Solicitor General Ted Cruz polling at 51%. The other four candidates could form a Voltron to try to take him down, and they’d still probably fail.
What is life for James going to be like after his Senate run ends? I really hope that a national network doesn’t hire him as an analyst, or that a major school doesn’t hire him for their coaching staff. Anything to keep James out of the public spotlight would be a good thing… but at the same time, it’s tough to turn your eyes away from the trainwreck.
[h/t: Deadspin]
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About Joe Lucia
I hate your favorite team. I also sort of hate most of my favorite teams.