Credit: Capital One
By Sean Keeley on

March Madness has returned, bringing with it a collection of traditions we spend all year waiting to experience.

The thrill of watching Cinderella try to keep dancing. The quiet anticipation of Gonzaga’s early exit. The collective desire to root for Duke to lose.

And, of course, the shared hatred of the same commercials we have to sit through over and over and over, driving us insane before the first weekend has even been completed.

Last year, the nostalgic appeal of the Geico Pig commercials ran dry after the 100th viewing, while the State Farm “Jason Bateman-Batman” commercial bored a hole into our skulls all tournament long. Two years ago, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Chet Holmgren terrorized a nation with their “What a Pro Wants” AT&T ad. Geico’s “Scoop, There It Is” once made a nation say, “Please, make it go.” And who can forget Applebee’s Shrimp Sensations (as much as we all might want to)?

The 2026 NCAA Tournament has plagued us with several contenders, driving us collectively insane. Millennials are feeling the pain of incessantly hearing Ludacris’s “Roll Out” to promote Lowe’s. The same goes for Geico trotting out MC Hammer for their “Hammer Time” ad. Wendy’s went slightly more recent with Lil Nas X, but the “Greatest Dunk of All Time” ad wears thin. The Home Depot’s Shaq Yard commercials are annoying but innocuous enough. Buffalo Wild Wings’ inescapable ads with Hannah Berner don’t seem to have many fans. AT&T’s “Guarantee Guys” seems like the only March Madness ad actually written by a human. CoPilot’s “Hank’s Pizza” ad, much like AI, seems to have worn out its welcome. The same goes for the music in Apple’s “MacBook” commercial. And the fewer of the Boozers that State Farm can give us, the better.

However, nothing seems to have come close to burning the retinas of college basketball fans quite like Capital One’s “Sorry Sam Jackson” ad.

All of the ingredients for a truly terrible commercial are there. A random assemblage of celebrities, most of whom have little connection to the NCAA Tournament. A goofy premise that might elicit a chuckle the first time you see it, but gnaws at the soft flesh of your brain after the 10th. A heartbreakingly stupid parody version of a beloved classic song. All of which drowns in a sea of corniness that kills your soul just a little more every time you see and hear it.

Suffice it to say, March Madness viewers on CBS and TNT have had enough of this experience, the pain of which is only further exacerbated by the knowledge they’ll have to watch it 500 more times before the tournament is over.

The only saving grace is that this is just one of several Capital One commercials running during the tournament, including one they roped Caitlin Clark into, so you hopefully get relieved from it for at least a short while as the networks cycle through the equally stupid but not as brain-destroying variations.

About Sean Keeley

Along with writing for Awful Announcing and The Comeback, Sean is the Managing Editor for Comeback Media. Previously, he created the Syracuse blog Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician and wrote 'How To Grow An Orange: The Right Way to Brainwash Your Child Into Rooting for Syracuse.' He has also written non-Syracuse-related things for SB Nation, Curbed, and other outlets. He currently lives in Seattle where he is complaining about bagels. Send tips/comments/complaints to sean@thecomeback.com.

View all posts by Sean Keeley