Alex Caruso has never felt so free in his life.
And it’s all thanks, in part, to Scott Van Pelt.
You see, no one has made being bald cooler than SVP. Of course, having a luscious head of hair has its perks. I don’t know what it’s like to be bald; I’d have to ask my father. That wasn’t meant as a knock at my lovely dad; he’s been rocking the bald look since he was in his 20s.
But he’d have far more in common with Van Pelt and now, apparently, Caruso than the author of this article.
Chet Holmgren joined SportsCenter with Van Pelt after Oklahoma City’s 119-103 drubbing of the Detroit Pistons. Holmgren had 22 points and 11 boards for the Thunder, in addition to his teammate and likely MVP, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, putting on another show, much to the dismay of Pistons announcer George Blaha.
In any event, Holmgren was on the bench postgame, chilling next to Caruso.
SVP saw an opportunity — albeit risky — and ran with it.
“This is a risky move on live television, but could you throw the headset on A.C. and fresh his head real quick?” Van Pelt asked. “I got to ask him a quick question.”
Caruso was happy to be talking to his bald “brother.”
“This is your boy, Scott Van Pelt,” the longtime SportsCenter anchor said. “This is very important. You’re not Chet Holmgren, but the people at home get it. I just want to tell you how proud I am of you embracing this life — the bald lifestyle. There was a time when there was a question mark, but you’ve gone full-on bald guy. And I hope you feel liberated and happy.”
“I’m the freest I’ve ever been, Scott,” Caruso replied. “We’ve got beef, though. You just took our basketball coach.”
Caruso’s newfound freedom perfectly fits the bald brotherhood he’s now officially part of. But he may very well have a slight beef with the president of the bald club, especially if SVP’s Terps keep swiping coaches from his alma mater.
About Sam Neumann
Since the beginning of 2023, Sam has been a staff writer for Awful Announcing and The Comeback. A 2021 graduate of Temple University, Sam is a Charlotte native, who currently calls Greenville, South Carolina his home. He also has a love/hate relationship with the New York Mets and Jets.