College basketball is back, and so is Bill Walton. The basketball legend and Grateful Dead aficionado made his ESPN season debut at the Maui Invitational on Monday night alongside (very patient) play-by-play man Dave Pasch.
Good luck this college basketball season, @DavePasch. pic.twitter.com/EGYisOrts4
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) November 26, 2019
It didn’t take long for Walton to mix things that have nothing to do with basketball into his one-of-a-kind basketball analysis. Before Kansas and Chaminade tipped off, Walton compared the Jayhawks to a volcano, a waterfall, and a breaching whale. Naturally.
Bill Walton compares Kansas to a volcano, a waterfall, and a breaching whale (h/t @cstonehoops) pic.twitter.com/nIb8noP2Nw
— CJ Fogler account may or may not be notable (@cjzero) November 26, 2019
That’s a hell of a way to start a broadcast. And when the game actually started…
https://twitter.com/Jifhawk/status/1199177100235878400
The Maui nightcap featured Walton’s UCLA Bruins against the BYU Cougars, and it featured many more wacky Walton moments, such as this segment of Walton on the beach terrifying children (and also calling Jay Bilas “Jake,” a bit that went on all night):
It only got weirder when they returned to the broadcast:
Bill Walton out here talking about drinking little kid's blood "Our 9 grandchildren are terrified of me" pic.twitter.com/SxVzPXBb4l
— Gifdsports (@gifdsports) November 26, 2019
There was this hilarious exchange between Walton and Pasch about Chandler, AZ:
Walton: … from Chandler, Arizona. You ever been there?
Pasch: I live there.
Walton: Hmm. You live there? I thought you lived on the airplane like me.
Pasch: You’ve been to my house!
Walton: Was that in Chandler? I thought that was in Phoenix.
And this exchange about BYU star guard Jake Toolson, Danny Ainge’s nephew:
“How did he become Danny Ainge’s nephew?” – Bill Walton
“Ah, I think he was born into it, that’s usually how it works.” – Dave Pasch
“Really?” – Bill Walton pic.twitter.com/skU8WjpmFv
— Benjamin Criddle (@CriddleBenjamin) November 26, 2019
After more Ainge talk, a 27-second sequence that perfectly shows how a Walton broadcast usually sounds:
Bill Walton went from talking about sleeping in the parking lot under palm trees to acknowledging a "beautiful pass!" in a matter of seconds.
And Dave Pasch's "Who's we?" here is great. https://t.co/6ssy4Bw6VY
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) November 26, 2019
And a couple more gems:
Bill Walton: "Do you know who Bob Iger is?"
Dave Pasch: "Yes, I know who Bob Iger is. He's our boss. He signs my check."
Walton: "You don't do direct deposit?"
— Rustin Dodd (@rustindodd) November 26, 2019
Bill Walton, just sneaking in brilliance pic.twitter.com/b8cX6zB44C
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) November 26, 2019
Much more of this to come in the 2019-2020 college basketball season. Hang in there, Dave Pasch.
About Matt Clapp
Matt is an editor/writer at The Comeback and Awful Announcing.
He can be reached by email at mclapp@thecomeback.com.