For most, the Super Bowl is an opportunity to get together with friends and family and celebrate the conclusion of an exciting football season over some pizza, beer, and wings. But for members of the sports media, the Super Bowl is like attending a professional convention full of hobnobbing and small talk.
And the NFL Network’s Kyle Brandt has had enough.
Taking a moment on Good Morning Football to slam the performative nature of every conversation with a fellow media member attending the Super Bowl, Brandt spoke for anyone and everyone who has ever had to sit through mind-numbing chatter with a professional contemporary.
“If you are a media member already in New Orleans, or one that’s going, I just want to touch base with you about this. This is how every single conversation goes between media members during Super Bowl week. It consists of three questions,” Brandt began as he grabbed a martini glass.
“Question number one: When did you get in? And if they say, ‘Oh, just today.’ You go, ‘Oh yeah, nice. End of the week. That makes sense. Save money, more time at home with the fam.’ But if they say, ‘Been here since Monday,’ you say, ‘Woah. Long haul, been there man. Bet you can’t wait to get home.’
“Question number two: Where are you staying? And they’re going to say the Hyatt or the Hilton and you just go, ‘Nice. Nice.’ Or you can say, ‘Woah, wow! High roller! Must be nice for you.
“And the third question — they all must be asked in every exchange — question number three: ‘You staying for the game?’ And if they say yes you say, ‘Nice, nice. I just hope it’s close.’ But if they say, ‘No, I’m actually going to go home on Saturday morning,’ you say, ‘Yup, see. That’s the way to play it man. You get home on your couch, that’s a veteran move right there. You know how to play it.
“Then you end the whole exchange by saying, ‘We should catch up man.’ Which you just did!”
Kyle Brandt apparently struck a chord with some journalists already in New Orleans, who were eager to agree with him.
Hopefully Brandt’s efforts will make a difference in this epidemic.
About Drew Lerner
Drew Lerner is a staff writer for Awful Announcing and an aspiring cable subscriber. He previously covered sports media for Sports Media Watch. Future beat writer for the Oasis reunion tour.