Phil Simms hates announcers touting QBR: ‘What the f*ck is that?’

Phil Simms has some thoughts on how NFL games are being called these days.

The former CBS analyst appeared on God Bless Football this week and unloaded on the state of NFL commentary, particularly the reliance on advanced stats over actually watching games. Which, according to the former New York Giants quarterback, is the appeal of doing his podcast with his son, Matt.

“I can counter stuff I hear on TV,” Simms said. “Which I love doing.”

When Jon “Stugotz” Weiner asked what specific things announcers say that bother him, Simms didn’t hold back.

“Yeah, and what people say on TV every day,” he replied. “I sit here and watch a lot of TV because the games, when I watch them, you know, the computer’s not making any noise. So I’d listen to things, ‘Let me write that down. That was the dumbest ass statement I’ve ever heard.’ … ‘Let’s talk about his QBR. You know the last six games, his QBR…’ Who gives a sh*t about your QBR? What the f*ck is that? It’s unbelievable. It really is.”

Simms then went after completion percentage and how analysts use it as a shortcut instead of actually evaluating quarterback play. The issue, according to Simms, is that modern offenses have inflated completion percentages to the point that the stat is nearly meaningless.

“All you have to do is one thing: watch the game and determine how he played,” Simms continued. “‘Oh, that takes time to watch, so I’m just going to look at… Oh, he only completed 64 percent.’ God, you imagine these percents they can complete now? He’s close to 80 percent. That doesn’t make you an accurate passer; it means you’re throwing about 10 screens a game behind the line of scrimmage.”

It’s a point Simms has hammered throughout his career. Quarterbacks completing 65 percent of their passes used to be elite. Now, with the proliferation of RPOs, screens, and quick game concepts, that number has become the baseline. But analysts still cite it like it means something, Simms said, because actually watching film and breaking down decision-making takes time.

He keeps a list of commentary clichés at his desk in New Jersey — players “running downhill,” getting skill players “out in space,” “spatial awareness” — and tears into them whenever he gets the chance. It’s all part of the same frustration he has with modern NFL analysts, who he feels lean on shortcuts instead of actually explaining football.

This is what Simms does now. He hosts Simms Complete, a podcast with his son Matt, where he can say what he couldn’t always say during his 26 years at CBS.  He spent eight of those years calling Super Bowls with Jim Nantz before CBS moved him to The NFL Today and eventually pushed him out when Matt Ryan and J.J. Watt arrived.

Simms told Front Office Sports last year that he’d be interested in opportunities with Amazon Prime Video, NBC, or ESPN if any of those networks came calling. NBC did bring him in for college football this season, but he’s also realistic about where things stand. At 70, he knows networks are going younger.

“I love what I do,” Simms said. “If I have free time even now, like if there’s a two-hour window in the afternoon for some reason and I’m not doing something, I’m going to go up and sit at my desk and write stuff about NFL football.”

And he’s also going to talk about it on his podcast, which obviously doesn’t have the reach of CBS’s No. 1 NFL booth. But it gives Simms something he didn’t always have at the network, which is the ability to call out what he feels is lazy analysis he hears every Sunday, without anyone telling him to tone it down.